The Inn of the Prancing Pony
by Jynxfreak
Summary: Come in, sit down, order a drink and listen to our resident storyteller spin his tales of mystery and wonder. Just don't sit too close to Freak, she bites sometimes.


Hi there, how you all doing? As you may or may not know, I am The Freak! Now, I have someone waiting with baited breath for the sequel to Eleanor: the First Adventure (Although this may be an exaggeration of the truth) but unfortunately the A drive (floppy disk) on the computer in my room has failed, so nobody will be seeing the aforementioned sequel until I can network the computers together. Until then- to tide you over, perhaps- I am writing this; my idea of who the hell Ganondorf is- on the internet capable computer. I'm actually doing this for a friend of mine.

So anyway, Disclaimer is that I don't own anything from Zelda, Honourable Miyamoto-san does, and good luck to me if I even wanted to make money out of this, eh?

Dark Beginnings

Hey, youngster. Yes you. I can tell you're new in town. How? By the way you dress, the way you look around in wonder. Got some time? Hm? Oh, just a pint of ale if you don't mind. As I was saying, you want I should tell you a story, the story of them Gerudo thieves out to the west of here. Quite enlightening, if you ask me. You'll listen? Good.

All the stories you hear will tell you that it's only women out there, and as far as anyone can make out, it's true. I mean, it's only women you ever see go in or out of there, right? Well, they haven't died out yet, which means they have a way of birthing children, without actually having any men in their race. You know how they do it? Well, if you're a brave man… brave or just plain stupid, you might wander into the valley. Or you even might be taken there by a Scout, or one who says she's looking for a boyfriend.

Well, you go in there, and they'll seduce you like nothing else, with fine food and drink, and you might find yourself liking one or two. Well, they'll give you what you want, all night and lots of 'em… You might compare them to women-of-ill-repute, to put it lightly. Well, when they're sure you've gotten at least one pregnant, they'll toss you out. Just like that, without so much as a by-your-leave. No men allowed except for that, and woes betide you if they don't like the look of you.

So you go on your merry way, and there's a little girl in that valley who you fathered- always come out looking the same, they do, so don't expect her to resemble you- never any men. They always give birth to a girl, for some reason, except for every hundred years when they birth a boy… and this boy is supposed to be their king. Yeah, strange, huh? All the other time they just have a queen.

But I tell you, that hundred year mark came around again just recently, just recently in fact, and I tell you, I know the man who fathered their king. Yeah, real lone wolf he was. Went by the name of Black, though what his other names were, he never told. Well, not many. So anyway, Black was one of those boys who walked in there on his own- real handsome, he was. Tall, powerful… he did a bit of work on a farm out the other side of town, and did he ever show the boys a thing or two! The night before he went in there, he was sitting in the very spot you're sitting now.

_I'm going to go into that valley,_ he was saying, drinking up his glass of beer. _I'm going to find myself a Gerudo lady, and give her a little girl to take care of_ he flashed all those listening a dazzling grin- I remember old Tommo's wife with this dreamy look on her face, just as if she were melting for him or something. Real charmer with the girls- all dashing and charming, but he was mysterious, too. Never said more'n a couple of sentences in an hour, even here at the pub.

 So anyway, Black went off to the valley, and- this is what the word said- he got in with no problem, 'cause those Gerudos liked the look of him, you know what I mean. Black told me himself when he got back that they all wanted a piece of him, swamping him and clambering all over the place- but he says he saw one, who was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and it was like the rest of the world just froze, he says. So he walked across the room and kissed her hand, and asked her name. Turns out it was Emeran- or was it Ruby? I can't ever remember the names. They're real tricky. Black told me later he swore there was one called Nabiru or something, just a little girl. She'd be hitting her teens by now, for sure. Strange names. But anyway, as much as all of them wanted a go, he only gave his business to Emeran, and after that- well, he tried to stay, because he really loved her, but they wouldn't let him… so he left to come back here, and one night he just disappeared without a trace. Nobody knew he was gone- it was like he'd vanished without a trace.

And then came the news, that there had been born a king. You know how close we are to the valley here; we heard all the news straight from the horse's mouth. So this boy was there, and who should be the father but Black! The kid's name was Ganondorf- yeah, I know… all a bit crazy if you ask me- and he was a right little trouble maker. I remember him well- there was one time he wanted to explore, but his folks wouldn't let him- They chased him as he ran out of the valley and straight into our town, leaping across the roof tops like a little monkey. It was quite a sight, watching the Gerudo ladies chase him into he heart of town and then lose him- a couple of kind souls gave chase, but the girls were out of breath. So they stood there to catch it again and I offered them some drinks- no sooner had they got them, though, we heard Ganondorf's little voice coming closer in the crowd. Finally he appeared, scrambling around the shoulders of the young man who had caught him- and who should it be but our old friend Black! The Gerudo ladies were shocked, maybe as much as the townspeople, and he just smiled like nothing had happened and gave them Ganondorf back, ruffling the little rascal's hair much in the way a big brother would. I don't think there was any way he could have known, but somehow… I think old Black did, deep down. Ganondorf was laughing and waving goodbye as Black turned and vanished back into the crowd, and everyone else was staring in wonder.

Black disappeared again after that, like one of those guardian angels you keep hearing about. He sent me a letter at one point, saying he's fathered another boy, out past Death mountain, and pass on birthday greetings for little Ganondorf. I think he sent _me_ the letter because I was the only one he had really talked to well… I get that a lot. Strange if you ask me. But anyway.

Well, things quieted down for a while, but you know last I heard there was a raiding party, drunk as lords the lot of them, go into the valley and attack- I heard that poor Emeran was one of the victims- they killed her. Terrible tragedy. But you know, I think the one worst hit was little Ganondorf- he must have turned twelve last month; I remember sending him a red rupee- but the poor kid. Word has it he was there when they killed her. Now that's something that could twist you inside.

The poor kid. So, that's my story. I could tell you more about Black some other time, but not now; the cold hurts my bones. Thanks for listening to the tired old story of a tired old man… Have a good night, kid. Good luck to you.

~~~

TBC later, obviously, when I find some other ideas to use. What did you think? I've got an explanation (however warped) for almost everything in the Zelda series, so I might end up converting them all to this format. It's quite fun to write, I must say.

Till next time my friends,

This is The Freak! Signing out. Ciao!


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